Happy New Year!

Peace, love, and happiness to all o' y'all! May 2009 be YOUR year, and may you "move on up" to bigger and better things in every aspect of your life! To quote one of my favorite songs at the moment: "What are you waiting for--spread your wings and soar!"

Family + Disrespect = [THAT DOES NOT COMPUTE!]

Hopefully you had a happy holiday! I successfully avoided melting and a pleasant time with family...for the most part. Based on the amount of EDUCATION I've had to hand out lately, I'm expecting a teaching certification any day now...goodness.

Anyway, let me get my pressure down and just tell the story.

On the weekend before Christmas, one of my second cousins (let's call her Susan) asked my other second cousin (let's call her Sally) to ask me to house-sit for her for a few days after Christmas. Susan is currently in the process of renovating her mother's house, and she wanted someone to be at her home as "security" while she was away for the weekend (Friday-Sunday). As most of the family was headed up there for the holiday anyway, it wasn't really an inconvenience. I had no real plans post-Christmas, and while there were things to be done at home, nothing was overly urgent. So I agreed.

Now, a little background on her house: it's pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Well, not really, but it sure feels that way. It's about 2 hours from my dad's house, in the province to the north of us. The area isn't rural, but it might as well be. She lives in a small suburb, which is very quiet and secluded. It would be the perfect place to either raise small children, or retire, since nothing really happens there, and there isn't much to do. At all. The most exciting thing I did during my time there was visit the supermarket. Really.

Then you factor in the heat factor--a flat valley with little shade and direct sunlight for the majority of the day. Not cute. Of course, she doesn't have air conditioning, so you can't even bear to be in the house without every door and window open. And since this country apparently doesn't believe in window or door screens, this of course invites all of the insect kingdom to come inside. And I do mean all. And all over the place too--even inside my luggage. NOT CUTE AT ALL. NO. HEY GIRL NUH-UH.

And then she doesn't have cable. Which in the grand scheme of things, isn't exactly a life-or-death situation, but when you're sitting in someone's house all day with nothing else to do...well, you get it. (Thankfully there was a video rental store next to the supermarket.)

(In fact, the only really redeeming quality about this place was its multiple bathrooms with showers. My dad's house has a bathtub, which to me is a step backwards--I've been showering since age 9. I've had to re-teach myself how to take a bath. Speaking of which, if you want a laugh, just Google "how to take a bath." People are creative!)

Now, after the first day or so, I was thoroughly bored. I've spent the better part of the last four years staying home and doing nothing, and have gotten sick and tired of relaxing, so to be there, unstimulated, was no fun. Even more not-cuteness. I was there with two of my third cousins (I was not kidding about how HUGE this family is), and even with three of us we ran out of entertaining ideas pretty quickly.

Then comes the deal-breaker.

If you'll remember, Susan was only supposed to be gone until Sunday. Now, Susan doesn't have a car, and relies on rides from family/friends, or public transport. So I would have been totally understanding if she hadn't been able to come back until Monday.

I found out, however, that she, in fact was not planning to return until Wednesday.

How did I find this out?

From my third cousin.

Not Susan.

When did I find this out?

AFTER Susan had already left for the weekend.

TIME OUT. STOP. HOLD UP. WAIT.

Number one: the agreement was that she was to return on Sunday, with Monday as an unofficial grace day. You can't just go changing arrangements as you please, particularly when others are involved.

Number two: if it does become necessary to modify the arrangement, be responsible and TELL SOMEBODY. I should not have to hear about your change of plans from anyone else, be it relative, friend, colleague, newspaper reporter, prophet---I should hear it from your mouth first.

I am an adult, and so is Susan, and I expect an adult relationship with her. Which means that she, or any other adult in this situation, should be responsible, respectful, mature, courteous, and straight-forward enough to let inform me of changes to the program. I am not employed as her house-keeper; I am doing her a favor.

Now to be honest (and to keep the pressure down), again, it's not as if there were fires at home waiting to be put out, that I could not attend to due to my absence. There were no other plans I had made.

And it may seem to some of these people that I am still a child. As the youngest of my father's children I suppose it's easy to see me in that light. The last time a lot of these people saw me, I was in diapers. And currently, I don't have too much going on.

But the reality remains that I'm not 2, or 12---I'm 22. If you can trust me to be responsible with your HOME and all its contents, why can't you be mature enough to talk to me, and see if I am still available to manage with new arrangements? Especially since I was the oldest one who was going to be there, and therefore the one responsible for greater welfare of us all.
Even if you have my personal schedule memorized, it is simply rude not to discuss the situation with me.

I mean you just don't DO that! No matter who it is--stranger, customer, friend, colleague, family, St. Peter--you just do not do that Disrespect can't and won't be tolerated.

Well. As an adult, I know that this is not a situation worth getting angry over. My energy is not expendable like that.

The bottom line is that Susan and I will have a discussion about this, and move on. I believe when you're getting to know people, you set up the framework for the way they treat you. Build the foundation incorrectly, and the whole thing will eventually crack and crumble.

What about you: how do you handle being offended by family?

Palm Tree Christmas/Merry Independence!

I often find the holidays interesting. The term "tradition" is a bit lost on me, since from age 10 or so, my holiday experiences have never been consistently the same. It's quite interesting to see where I end up towards the end of each year. A bit gypsy-like, but interesting--and always enjoyable. I never really plan on doing much, and always end up busy and bouncing from one place to another. For someone like myself who loves variety, it's great.

This year is quite different in a few ways, however. For one thing, IT. IS. HOT. It's been either 90 or near 90 for the past week and a half. Which is ok, if you like warm weather. But I am a child of the snow--fall and winter are my favorite seasons. So this business of Halloween feeling more like Memorial Day and Christmas feeling like the Fourth of July (thus, my new holiday greeting of "Merry Independence!")...definitely going to take some getting used to. It's hard to sing songs like "Baby, It's Cold Outside" or "Frosty the Snowman" when you're wearing shorts and flip-flops and trying desperately not to sweat through another good shirt. Even without the other, more formal traditions--huge family dinner, etc.-- I still had one thing: the cold. I suppose I can get used to it sooner or later, but I'm keeping my pictures of snow handy in the meantime.

Then there's the other thing: family! It's the first time in a very long time when I've been almost exclusively with blood relations over the holidays--or just in general, actually. It's nice and a bit weird at the same time. (Sidebar: I have to say I am incredibly grateful for those who have welcomed me into their homes and lives; definitely some of the most precious moments in my life. I thank, love, and miss you all!) I'm so used to basically being adopted into other people's families, that being in my own is...odd. I slip into the role of houseguest/fun family friend/entertainer so easily it's almost second nature (and I miss it!), but finding my "new" role, and where I fit in my own family, is quite different altogether. I don't mean to say that I feel alienated, but every now and then it's hard to feel apart of everything when people share so much history that I don't, or speak in a language I don't understand. But all in all, as time goes by, and places and names become more familiar, I am feeling more at home. And my life-of-the-party trait is always there ready and waiting to be unleashed, so once I feel a bit more comfortable...watch out now!

But yeah. It's hot.

Anyway, whatever you celebrate and where ever you are, hopefully this holiday season finds you happily at peace!!!

Pure, Unadulterated Beauty.

Not gonna lie, I'm a sucker for a killer hairstyle.


If your hair's lookin' good, expect a compliment.



Which is what makes this woman so awesome:

Meet Mrs. Chantal Biya, First Lady of Cameroon.

She. Is. Magnificent.


And look at her giving whoever's sitting next to her the side-eye--it's a look that says "I've done more with a blow dryer than you will EVER accomplish in your whole life!"



Simply amazing.








Happy Monday!


Listen: "One Shot" - Danity Kane