The Color of Speech, or , "Heighth" is NOT a Word!

What makes us speak the way we do?

Over the course of my life I've been told on many different occasions that I "talk white," meaning that I don't speak in "ebonics." I've been told this both from people (mostly white) who meant to compliment me and people (mostly white) who were completely bewildered, almost to the point of being offended. On the surface, I can understand this kind of remark; it's a fast and easy way of saying that I articulate my words and lack the "accent" that seems to pervade "black" culture.

My problem is this: who decides what's white or black? Does being black automatically mean that I have to speak, dress, or act a certain way? Or listen to a particular style of music? NO.

Or does being white automatically guarantee mastery of the English language? NO.

Tonight I happened to be in the midst of people who believe that "slang", "ebonic", or "ghetto" speech denotes a lack of intelligence in the speaker. And that the reason that I did not speak in that manner is due to the fact that I am an "intelligent black man."

Whoa.

That reasoning implies (albeit indirectly) that any person, black or not, who speaks that way is unintelligent. Perhaps it was simply a poor choice of words on the person's part; I might have said "uneducated" or something along those lines, because even I can admit that sometimes excessive use of slang and an excess of mispronounced words makes the speaker sound uneducated.

But in order to be able to properly speak about anything, you have to first understand what it is you're talking about, and this person obviously didn't.

If I were to guess at the origin of "ebonics," I would say that it may have originated with African slaves in this country, who learned English from their white counterparts, mostly in southern states. From there it'd be easy to assume that through the years, as descendants of slaves settled in different areas of the country, and passed their speech patterns on to their children (as with any other language/speech pattern), patterns which eventually turned into today's "ebonics." For years, many--but certainly not all--of these families did not have access to the quality of education that may have taught them improved English skills. Add all that together, and it seems to me like a perfect recipe for the foundation of today's "ebonics."

And I suppose you could connect the difference in speech between two people to their respective levels of education. Personally, my mother's parents instilled in her the value of a good education, lessons which my mother passed on to both of her children. I was fortunate enough to have access to very good schools all of my life. For many others that is not the case.

Another influence on language is environment. English was my mother's second language, and the perfectionist in her drove her to learn it perfectly. Because of this, the "King's English" was exclusively spoken at my house, and our mistakes in grammar were always swiftly corrected. But there are others who have spoken a certain way all their lives. You can't discredit them for being who they've always been, can you? Or perhaps people speak and act in certain ways to fit in with those around them. Often different regions seem to almost have their own dialects of American English.

I'm sure my reasoning above may be flawed; it's really more of an off-the-cuff hypothesis. But whatever the reasons, there are a few things some of us need to realize:

1) speaking in slang or "hip-hop" terminology most certainly does not denote un-intelligence. There are plenty of educated African-Americans who speak in ways that might be described as "ghetto," and these are people who handle themselves with grace and sophistication. On a daily basis. A perfect example--Mo'Nique, especially on her show, Charm School.

2) People should not be defined by other people's cultural expectations of them. Being a young black man does not automatically mean that I wear baggy clothing, commit crimes, or speak a certain way, and no part of my personality is or ever will be predicated on somebody else's idea of what or who I should be. I'm not going to start behaving a certain way because that's what other black/white/whatever guys are doing. I'm going to define myself.

3) Please, look in the mirror before you point the finger. It's common knowledge that Americans--in every color we come in-- have butchered English over the years. It's very interesting to me, for example, that the people who seem to be the most outspoken in both forcing immigrants to learn English and criticizing minorites for the use of slang, are often the very same people who have the most trouble spelling common words, and in fact often misuse everyday English words on a regular basis. I don't know how many thousands of times I have a heard a white, "educated" person say "heighth" when the correct word is , in fact, HEIGHT. If I really wanted to, I could amass dozens of examples in which the English language is misused, no matter what the race of the speaker.


Haha, I'm not exactly sure how to end this one, but I'll say this: be yourself, not who someone else says you should be, but your own true self.





Listen: "Say It Right" - Nelly Furtado

I'm the "America" of Personalities...

If you were to ask people to define American culture, you'd most likely get more than a few different answers. If you were to use foods to identify different cultures around the world, for example, it would be easy to match them up with their respective countries--China, rice; Mexico, tortillas; Germany, sauerkraut; Italy, bruschetta; Colombia, coffee. But try to do that with America, and you arrive at a myriad of answers.

Why? Because America is the amalgamation of cultures. Its people come from all corners of the earth, and bring their respective cultures with them. Therefore one could say that American culture is really a combination of most every other world culture. Using my previous example, I think it would be quite a task to attempt to identify (with the exception of fast food) one food or food group that represents all that is American.

All of this to say that I've realized lately that my own personality is not unlike a "melting pot." I usually don't realize it until later, but it seems that I take things that I like about other people's personas and adopt them into my own.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Certain traits, i.e., courage, integrity, honesty, strength, the list goes on--I wouldn't hesitate to absorb from others. But this is a pattern I repeat even with small things, i.e., words or phrases, gesticulations, even personal style. Now, I believe a certain amount of this is normal, as after a while we tend to take on a similar appearance to those we're with, be it a spouse, friend, or relative. But should this process account for the entirety of my personality?

I find myself constantly using other people's catch-phrases as my own, adopting their hand motions, even copying their fashions. There are a few things which I thought I liked, but only recently realized that the only reason I did like those things was because somebody else had/used them; someone who, from my perspective, personified "cool." It might have been a watch, a hoody, a pair of sneakers, a musical taste, whatever.

I would be remiss if i didn't point out that I might have missed out on some of my now- favorite things had someone else not shown them to me. But by absorbing others' personality traits, am I making up for some lack that I see within myself? Do I bore myself? Shouldn't I be enough for me, the way I am, without, well, out-sourcing myself? Am I losing my own identity? Or, more appropriately, what is that identity?

Have I ever been the real me?!

Listen: Pink - "Split Personality"

Keep It Together!

One of the most beneficial personal traits one can possess is organization. Being organized allows one to have more focus concerning the activities of one's everyday life, both in the workplace and in the home. With proper organization, goals and tasks can be accomplished quickly and efficiently. Also, organization is something people recognize and appreciate in others; it depicts strong focus, a solid work ethic, and indicates a clear, straight-forward way of thinking.

Personally, I try to stay very organized, and it has served me well in group projects or other environments where people were depending on me. Does this mean that my room is always flawlessly clean? Or that I haven't occasionally lost things? Absolutely not. But by developing a method of organization, I rarely have either of those problems.

Perhaps it was my mother who influenced me in this way. Some would call her a neat freak (a trait of hers which, having seen the alternatives, I love), but she really only had two tricks when it came to keeping home and office: 1)Keep everything in its place, and 2) Clean as you go.

Proper cleaning (dusting, vacuuming, etc.) is something everybody should do on a regular basis, so for now I'm going to leave that one alone and focus on #1--keeping everything in its place. This means designating one particular spot for certain things, and sticking to it. I keep all of my extension cords, power adapters, and other cords/wires, for example, in one specific drawer in my room. This ensures that I will always know where to look for any of these items when the need for them arises, and that I won't spend half an hour looking for something. And by keeping the entire home like that, it's easy to keep things tidy--and especially easy to return things to a state of tidiness in a rush.

While those things refer to the more domestic areas of organization, the topic is one that extends into one's thought processes, activities, and endeavors. I'm not saying that people have to be neat freaks in order to accomplish the things they want to, but (speaking from experience) a bit of togetherness never hurt.

This especially applies to people in all areas of leadership. As a leader, being organized means being able to communicate clearly with all involved parties, knowing all of the important factors pertinent to the project, extensively planning ahead (for every contingency), and being able to recall or quickly access information when necessary. If the leader is organized, the whole group benefits--flourishes, even.

Which is why, I suppose, I get extremely irritated when people who don't possess these traits (as not everyone does, but I believe everyone can get there if they try) attempt to lead. I'm currently working on a project right now with a good friend who fits that description. It's unfortunate, really, because I really would like to be involved, and I believe I can bring a lot to this project. What kills me is the lack of communication throughout the entire project. Rarely do I receive communication directly from said leader; instead, I hear about group meetings (if and when they occur) and such simply by happenstance. I'm not asking for miracles, mind you, but let me know what's going on! Things about this project keep changing, nothing is really solidified, and I'm sourly awaiting that frantic last-minute phone call that always arrives in situations like this. It's odd, really, when, in this age of Facebook Group messages, MySpace nulletins, email list-serves, hell, even group text messages--communication from one person to a group of others should be a non-issue. All of this has led me to a lack of faith in the success and fruition of the project as a whole, and a lack of faith and trust in the leader--sad because we're friends.

Granted, this may be the first time this person has attempted anything like this, a situation with which I can certainly understand and identify. Personally, however, in that situation I would make even more organizational strides that normal, but to each his own, right?

My advice to people considering leadership--in any forum--is simple: If you want to take the reins, be sure you are able to handle them! And, please, please, please...

Keep it together!




Listen: Danity Kane - Hold Me Down

There's a Leak In This Old Building...

...And My Soul Has Got to Move!


So begins the transition. The nest is crackling, not by any fault of its own, but rather I have outgrown it. No longer can I rest within its warm and familiar enclosures. It's time to move.

If everything had worked out perfectly (ha!) and I had been graduating college on time, this would be my last year; Graduation Day would be imminent and I would finally be free to move on to bigger and better things. You know, get my own place, a good job, and start building my life. While my life has deviated from what I thought it should/would be, it is time to free myself, to force myself to move on. I'm not a child any longer, I am a man, an adult. An intelligent, independent, self-sufficient adult who is capable of doing whatever he chooses. As such, I need to let myself be that adult. I need to stop living in fear of the future, to stop living in fear of change. These fears are justifiable, of course; I'm currently in the process of preparing to leave everything I've ever known: home, country, history, economy, government, culture, friends that become family. But no longer will these fears paralyze me, no longer will they keep me stagnant. I can't stay in this situation and expect to grow or become anything substantial. It's not beneficial to me to sit around and do nothing, and it's certainly not beneficial to anyone else.

Where this will take me, I'm not quite sure. I know the first step is returning to South Africa, where I can gain even the most basic things that are unavailable to me here. A car, for one. A legitimate, stable job. A home of my own. Not shared (unless I choose to), but mine. In short, a life. Perhaps I'll work for a while, then start school again. I'm not quite sure yet. But this will give me an opportunity to 1) connect with my family, and in turn connect with myself; 2) truly experience self-sufficiency in full, an environment in which I absolutely thrive; and 3) open myself to the entire world. Going to South Africa does not mean staying there forever. Here, I am limited to these four borders; upon leaving, the whole world is mine. And there are so many places I'd love to go--Australia, Japan, Spain, the UK, France, Germany, Italy, Mexico, Jamaica and the Caribbean--so much for me to explore and discover. No longer can I limit myself to what I see those around me doing.

It's almost like an itch, really. I feel that I can only go so far in Easton, as if there is some sort of glass ceiling, and I can see beyond it to where I should truly be. It's an itch that's growing increasingly difficult to assuage. An itch that says, Go! Go! Go!

Not to say I haven't enjoyed my time here. It's a part of me, and it's part of what made me who I am. The lessons learned and the experiences had are irreplaceable. The people will always be a part of my heart and my being. It's time now to apply all those experiences and lessons and, well, fly. It may be a journey I'll have to fly alone, but I believe i'm ready for it.

Graduation Day is here.




Listen: Beyonce - World Wide Woman

You Actually SHOULD Have Gone to Rehab....

It's a shame, really. Another great artist gone to waste ( or should I say, wasted?).

It seems that the infamous Ms. Winehouse all but disgraced herself at the opening of her tour in England. Reportedly, people were leaving the stadium in droves, extremely disappointed with the singer's lackluster performance. She was more than half an hour behind schedule, and when she finally did arrive on stage, she was slurring, stumbling, and singing terribly off-key.

Why it is necessary for today's Young Hollywood to all but obliterate themselves with the help of drugs and/or alcohol, I will never understand. Not to say that I haven't had my own share of crayz nights, but there are things which one must put aside in favor of other pursuits, i.e., a career.

And Ms. Winehouse's career was soaring. She bascially owned the airwaves during the earlier part of 2007, and I can truly say without hesitation that her album "Back to Black " is nothing short of amazing. It really is reminiscent of Lauryn Hill's soulful-sound-meets-lyrics-so-blunt-they'll-slap-you-in-the-face style that we all miss. The music draws upon a combination of 1920s "Big Band" style and 1960s Motown flavor that I am enamored of lately. If she is surrounded by the right people, and interested in making good decisions, Amy Winehouse has the power to become one of the most notable modern artists.

Which makes it even more unfortunate that these things have happened. I can't really judge her, since I have neither met her nor do I know her personally; all any of us can do is wish her the best. For my part, I do hope she gets her self together, because I 'd hate to have her virtually disappear a la Lauryn Hill, and I know for a fact that we do not need a British version of Britney.

Just the idea makes me want to vomit.

Read the article here.